Posted By BillHeise on February 28, 2009

I have transcribed the first dirty joke told in yesterday’s video. (Click here for the whole post). Here it is:

From the War Department, Washington, DC

Late last evening, as the pretty little clipper, Frances Folsom, was cruising about, she was observed by the government Ram, Grover Cleveland, which immediately hove down upon her with the intention of boarding her. The Frances seeing there was no way of avoiding the encounter, pluckily lay to, threw her stern into position and bared poles for action.

The Grover managed to strike the Frances with two balls between wind and water, intending thereby to impede the action of her pump. As he bore down upon her, the Grover’s polished ram struck the Frances at the water line, penetrating her interior to considerable depth.

Although somewhat at a disadvantage, the Frances kept up a spirited opposition until the Long Tom of the Grover was discharged, which virtually put an end to the contest, as he immediately drew off somewhat disabled, not a spar left standing. It was at first thought that the Frances was uninjured, but upon a close examination it was found that there were two holes in her bottom and at an early hour this morning she was pumping water.

So now I get it: it’s a mixed metaphor (ships/sex). But I still don’t think it’s funny.

Since this one was so bad, I gave up on the rest.  But read the comments on the video for differing opinions.

Categories: Stupid Stuff
Tags: jokes